Tag Archives: relationship model

Observe the Edges

5 Jun

Everyone tells that.

Observe the Edges! For they are dangerous. They can cut you, harm you.

But why do people speak about edges only for physical things like table, chair, tool etc?

George Clooney character Ryan in “Up in the Air ” says –

“… Make no mistake your relationships are the heaviest components in your life…” Read the full version here.

And if that is so then why don’t we talk about edges in relationships in the same breadth as innate objects like tables and chairs?

In the relationship model , the concept of edges has been taken care of. If we look closely, the first step of the model i.e. Liking has many edges and as you progress upward, number of edges decreases resulting into a perfect “Edge-Less” relationship. But unlike normal edges (in objects like chairs) where we are instructed not to touch them, edges in relationships are meant to be touched and amended. Infact we should put our energies in finding all the edges and then smoothening them. The aim of any rocking relationship should be to have it “Edge-free”.

Share with me what all edges have you come across in your relationships?

Relationship Model – The new paradigm

2 Jun

I am a great fan of models not because they make you look smart in front of people but for the reason that they simplify things. They help in structuring information; because of which we have more time in developing different perspectives rather than wasting in arranging things.

I thought to myself if models are so good then is there any relationship model available which one could use. I googled about it but did not come across any such thing. So thought of devising a model myself. This relationship model outlines the broad steps in ensuring a rocking relationship. The model could be used in any kind of relationship be it business relationship or personal relationship. All one would have to do is to modify steps according to his situation.

Like any good model, it will not ensure positive outcome each time. What it will ensure is higher probability of a positive outcome. Also since here human emotions are involved, the model would need to adjusted according to the people involved in the relationship.

Relationship Model

As is presented above, the model has 4 steps with each step linked to the one above it and below it in both the directions. Arrows in both directions signify fluidity and seamless between the individual steps. It also shows that none of the step can be treated in isolation in relationship. It is an iterative process and one might have to go forth and back in the model.

It would also require different mindset to read and understand the model. Unlike science models where we are used to reading from bottom to top, this one would be read from top to bottom. There is a reason for reading top to bottom. When we are progressing from top to bottom, we know that our objective is “Rocking Relationship” and whatever we are doing would help us ensure that. The problem in going from bottom to top is we might get stuck at individual step and lose sight of the objective.

As mentioned, for understanding the model, we start from top and go down south. But for implementation purposes, we start from the bottom and progress upward.

So the first step in understanding the model is the realization that we are in the process of building healthy and rocking relationship. Once that objective is clear and we have let that feeling sink in, we would progress to the next step which is Comfort.

Comfort talks about generating comfort level in other person. This step is very crucial and the most difficult one. Many relationships face problems at this step and eventually die. We are just not able to generate the kind of comfort in other person to allow him/her to let the doors open to his heart. And if this does not happen we will never be able to touch that person truly and build long lasting relationship. Comfort has many dimensions and is the most exhaustive of all. We would delve into it in much deeper details later on.

Next step is Time. Just like any plant which requires constant nourishment over an elongated time, any relationship requires quality time over a good stretch of period. We must make sure that we are able to devote quality time to each relationship we want to strengthen.

But why would the other person spend time with you? In this world, the biggest gift any person can give to other is his time. So why should he gift you his most precious thing?

Answer is very simple. “Liking“!

Other person should develop enough liking towards you to devote his time to you. “Liking-ness” happens if he finds you interesting enough. Therefore one has to make sure that he is interesting enough to be liked.

We would covering all these steps in much greater detail in times to come and understand their true import. Experiences and case studies would be some of the tools we would be using along the way.

Till then, happy relationships!